Day 2

Even though the first day seemed way to easy, I woke up with very sore legs and arms. Today I decided I needed to change up the challenge somewhat. My bladder cannot handle jumping jacks, so instead I ran in place, and for the push ups I am doing wall push ups.

I am getting more nervous about seeing the neurosurgeon in just a few weeks. I am afraid he's going to say he can't help me at all. But then there is the part of me that is so worn out, tired of pain, and sick of feeling sick and tired and can't wait to go see him.

I have had a constant migraine for the last week and 1/2 now. I just want someone to help me get rid of it and the insomnia I have.

New Challenge Day 1

It has been a very long stressful week. I wasn't sure if I actually was up to this challenge. I haven't been able to get rid of this horrible headache, neck, shoulder, hip pain. I haven't had any motivation and between home and work I am totally exhausted.

I have also been very rude lately. I am not sure if it's due to all the pain or if it's the lack of sleep. So when someone said I was just an overpaid babysitter, they didn't like my response. But any way....

Here is my new challenge, day 1 done!

No Motivation

 Lately I haven't had any motivation to get me started. On top of that I have been dealing with a horrible headache that has lasted now for about a week. Today it has gotten much worse to the point I am nauseated. While at my sister's house for dinner, I reached over and turned off Jake's phone, that was playing loud music. I probably pissed off a few people because they were all enjoying the music, but I just couldn't take it any more.

 I have found a new challenge that I will be starting hopefully tomorrow. I need to get back into this. I don't plan on getting on my bike for a while. I have had this horrible pain in my hip for the last 3 days. It hurts to walk.

Been Busy

I know it's been about 3 weeks since I posted. I am sorry I haven't posted but I have not only been busy but just not feeling like blogging. Since the last time I posted I had a very busy week. Jake is in FFA and raising a steer so last week was time to take it to fair: for weigh in, market show(which he won 2nd in this), showmanship, and auction. This started Tuesday and didn't end until Sunday. So, it was off to work by 7:15 am, after work it was up to the fair grounds, then not home until around 10:00 pm or later. I was totally exhausted!  Then the next week Henry was here and I hadn't seen him for over a month. I wasn't on the computer much at all.

I have been weighing in but nothing has changed. I am actually very surprised about that because I haven't been doing anything to help it out. I haven't exercised at all in 2 1/2 weeks, but I haven't gained a pound. I even put on some of my jeans last week and they weren't tight any more, they are actually a bit loose.

I plan on getting back on the "horse" next week.

I have had some days of not eating great. Like today I had a bad day at work, came home to my son doing something he shouldn't be at my house, then it was off to put gas in my car. While doing that I had a very rude man come up to and say some very inappropriate things. One of them hurt me so much. He said no man would want me do to my looks and my size. This shouldn't have really bothered me because I have been dating the same person for 3 years now, but it did. So I went to the store and bought a doughnut. I found myself yet again eating all my feelings. It is one thing that has been the hardest thing to change.

I have an official appointment with my neurosurgeon on November 4th. I can't say I have ever been scared and excited all at the same time in a long time.

9/20/13

I know it's been a few days since I have posted. I have been questioning why the hell I am doing this. Why am I doing this to myself and is this all worth it just to be thinner. I am putting my body in so much pain it isn't funny any more. Between work that is exhausting, all these headaches, and all the stress I wake up every morning in so much pain. Lately it seems like every day is getting worse. I don't sleep any more between insomnia, and sever muscle spasms I can't think straight any more. I started taking magnesium for the leg cramps and upped the amount of water I drink but the spasms are just getting worse. I have been doing less and less workout time. I don't know if it's worth all the tears it's putting me through. I am not saying I am quitting this weight loss journey but I know I need to cut back to keep my sanity. I really need to get through this rough patch or in chiari talk flare up.

I am looking forward to having my MRI Monday and then making an appointment with the neurosurgeon to see if he has answers. I want to see if he can truly help me before I go totally insane.  

9/17/13

Last night I woke up with really bad leg cramps all night long. There were clouds this morning which makes my head hurt even worse. Work wasn't horrible, but at one point I felt very nauseous. At the end of the day my sister text and asked if I could bring her 7 year old as her other son had an appointment. Of course I said yes because he's at the same school I work at. I ran him home and she asked if it would be possible if I could come back at and watch him at 4 because his brother had another appointment. I ran home and to 7/11 I really needed caffeine. I went back over there, they left and I helped Zach with his homework. My sis came home and fixed dinner ( thanks to her big time). I missed picking Jake up in between there. We then went from there to the farm. He walked and took care of the steer.

We came home to ants all over the kitchen and of course no ant killer.  Jake grabbed the pine sol and started spraying. Then off to the store to get something for that. I bought a refill for something I already had at home. So here I sat trying my hardest to get the old sprayer off to put it on the new one. I couldn't find a screw driver that would work. I finally get the stupid thing off, but getting it back on was so hard for me. I ended up sitting here in tears because my hands didn't want to hold the small screw driver that it needed. I really hate this when you have a horrible headache, trying to do something that has to be done and no one to help you.

Tonight I am sitting here really hating chiari and all of the horrible symptoms that it causes. No I haven't done a workout and probably won't.

Chiari fact for tonight. Chiair can take away your fine motor skills, your thought process, your memory, and sometimes your independence.

9/16/13

I have been running every where today. I finally got to my workout tonight. I did the ab workout, legs, and cardio tonight. I swear these workouts seem like they are longer than 5 minutes per workout. I am totally exhausted. I am hoping to try to add one more of the workouts every night until I can get all of them in. Then I will try to up how long I do them.

Chiari info for today,

Is This Condition Hereditary?

Researchers investigated the genetic implications of the Chiari malformation with or without syringomyelia. A genetic prevalence has been identified in some families. Researchers continue to search for the gene(s) that are responsible for producing the Chiari malformation.

MRI scanning is recommended for family members who have signs or symptoms of the disorder.

Is