Disappointed in Myself

I forgot to post last night so I will catch you up on it now. I had a very stressful day at work. Then it was grocery shopping and taking my son to do something. I got home around 7 pm. Then it was off to the farm with my youngest son to feed and work with his steer. I got home and finally ate dinner around 8:30. I was very exhausted and feeling horrible so I went to bed not doing any work out at all. I did even have the strength to take a shower.

I didn't sleep well at all. It was an up and down night. I had a horrible headache when I woke up and still have it tonight. I still had a few things to do today. I went and fed Jake's steer at 10 am because he had band practice all day starting at 8 am. I then decided to get the grocery shopping done today because by tomorrow the stores will be crazy because it will be the first. I went to Grocery Outlet about 10 miles away. I got my groceries and headed to the check out line. I grabbed a diet pepsi and then I saw it a box of 6 doughnuts. I should have never picked up that box. I hadn't ate before I left the house so I decided to open it and have one on my ride home. Before I knew it I ate all 6 of them. I haven't done anything like that in at least 5 years. I am not sure why I did that.

I have been eating a lot of things I shouldn't be since going back to work. I feel it's all the stress I have been put under at work. I am having a hard time dealing with it and know it's probably going to get worse. So I am doing what comes natural...eating. I really need to find some way of dealing with it other than eating. I am so very disappointed in myself right now.

Again tonight I haven't done any form of exerciser. My head is killing me. I do plan on getting some crunches in when it cools off tonight. It's still 90 degrees in my house. I do know that I won't be climbing on that noisy bike tonight.

I also got pissed off at my sister tonight. She had made dinner and I had promised to go over, so I did. Then she tells me right after dinner I am sorry but I need to go to bed I am in a lot of pain. I said I know how that feels. Then she responded with I don't think you know what kind of pain I am in and there's no way you could have this much. I thought she understood the whole chiari thing and how much pain I could have but she didn't. What really pisses me off is that she is on a ton of pain meds. She has a pain patch, norcos, and muscle relaxers. But no doctor has found anything causing the pain. They have found what is causing my pain but won't give me anything other than ibuprofen and tramadol. Don't get me wrong, I don't want any of those pain meds, but how the hell did she get them to give her all those with no reason for the pain. Sorry for my bitching but just had to get that out there.

8/29/13

Today was a very, very long day at work for me. I think I took my student on about 5, 15 minute walks today and that's not counting the other walking I did around campus. I have been on my feet so much the last 2 days they have been swollen so they hurt to walk on them. Today I also not only sat in something wet, but I snagged the butt of my pants. Then after work I went and baby sat my nephews. I finally got home after 7 pm tonight.

However, I managed to get on my bike and ride 20 minutes and do my 50 crunches.

Change of Mind

Due to a comment from a great friend LeAnn I have decided to continue with my blog. I can't let negative people ruin what I have started. There may be someone somewhere that I am helping. So if you don't like my blog please discontinue reading it.

I had a very long stressful day at work and I am in a lot of pain from last 2 nights bike rides. I am not going to do the bike tonight but have done 50 crunches.

September kicks off National Chiari Awareness month. I will try to post 1 fact a day during that month. I may repeat some information that I have already given because frankly I can't remember what I have posted. It will be easier to repeat then me to go through every post and reread them.

8/27/13 Last Post

This may be my last post. I am probably being to sensitive but some people are just mean. Believe me I am not doing this for attention. I am also actually doing everything I have posted. I am not just being a fat lazy person making people think I am working out and not doing it. I guess I take things seriously and it hurts when someone is just cruel. In my mind if I don't blog then mean people can't make cruel remarks that I keep having to get rid of. Like every decision I have made in my life this seems like another bad one. I just intended to not only educate people on this disease and show myself I can actually lose weight. I din't do it to be made fun or bullied, I had enough of that through school.

Tonight I did do 32 minutes and little over 6 miles on my bike.

Monday 8/26/13

For being a minimum day at work I feel like it was a full day. I am totally exhausted. I came home and vegged in front of the computer for a while. I then cooked dinner, then took Jake to the farm. While there I swept up the hay and brushed the steer. Boy, did he come close to licking me in the face...yuck!

I am wondering how I got the energy up to ride my bike. I didn't do just my usual 20 minutes tonight. I actually did 30 minutes! I think with being on fb and playing candy crush and pet rescue kept me busy. I beat 2 levels on candy while riding tonight. I have also manage my 50 crunches...yay me!

I think I am going to shower and maybe lay down for a while. I am sure Troy will text for a ride around 10 pm. I have 2 hours to go for that.

Better Day/Weigh In

I still have a headache and a pounding in my ears but it is way more tolerable. I didn't too much at all today. I just took it easy. I took Jake to feed the steer, then laid in bed until almost 2 pm. Then just spent time watching the Giants play...they won last night and today!!! I also spent time on fb. I then took Troy to work and went to my sister's for dinner, then out to watch Jake work with the steer. When I got home I did my 20 minutes on the bike, I only managed 3.74 miles and 388 calories burnt, I just wasn't riding as fast. I then did only 40 crunches, but I did some.

As far as weigh in, I got on the scales first thing this morning and they were very nice to me today. I lost another pound! I am at 229 lbs! For me that is a big deal, I have not weighed under 230 lbs in many years. I didn't measure myself because I am bloated.

I guys don't want to hear this so if you're one you might want to stop reading now. I have talked to many other women suffering with chiari and around their time of the month their headaches and pains get worse. I believe that's why my headache has been terrible the last few days. It always gets bad around that time of the month.

Terrible, Awful, Horrible Head Pain

I thought that I did my blog last night but it's not there tonight. So I will start with it.  Yesterday was busy between work, the Olive Festival Parade, and feeding the steer, but I managed to do my 20 minutes on my bike and my crunches.

This morning as soon as I woke up at 7 am I felt stabbing pains in my head. It hurt to move it at all. I got up and took my meds and went back to bed. I kept dozing but my head wasn't feeling much better. At 10 I got up and took more of my ibuprofen and tramadol, but took an extra tramadol. I laid back down and dozed again off and on. for a little while. I remembered I had promised to feed the steer for Jake becaue he had to be at the festival site by 7 am and I didn't want to get up that early. I managed to put some clothes on and go feed the steer, run to the store, and get some caffeine. I came back home and laid in bed until around 1 pm. I took some more meds. I finally have my headache to where I can deal with it. I promised yesterday that I would make dinner tonight at my sister's house and I managed to do that. I am home but still not feeling great so it's going to be a night off from the bike. I can tolerate the headache but if I got on that noisy bike I am sure it would get bad again. I did manage to get 40 crunches done today. I am hoping tomorrow is a better day!