Disappointed in Myself

I forgot to post last night so I will catch you up on it now. I had a very stressful day at work. Then it was grocery shopping and taking my son to do something. I got home around 7 pm. Then it was off to the farm with my youngest son to feed and work with his steer. I got home and finally ate dinner around 8:30. I was very exhausted and feeling horrible so I went to bed not doing any work out at all. I did even have the strength to take a shower.

I didn't sleep well at all. It was an up and down night. I had a horrible headache when I woke up and still have it tonight. I still had a few things to do today. I went and fed Jake's steer at 10 am because he had band practice all day starting at 8 am. I then decided to get the grocery shopping done today because by tomorrow the stores will be crazy because it will be the first. I went to Grocery Outlet about 10 miles away. I got my groceries and headed to the check out line. I grabbed a diet pepsi and then I saw it a box of 6 doughnuts. I should have never picked up that box. I hadn't ate before I left the house so I decided to open it and have one on my ride home. Before I knew it I ate all 6 of them. I haven't done anything like that in at least 5 years. I am not sure why I did that.

I have been eating a lot of things I shouldn't be since going back to work. I feel it's all the stress I have been put under at work. I am having a hard time dealing with it and know it's probably going to get worse. So I am doing what comes natural...eating. I really need to find some way of dealing with it other than eating. I am so very disappointed in myself right now.

Again tonight I haven't done any form of exerciser. My head is killing me. I do plan on getting some crunches in when it cools off tonight. It's still 90 degrees in my house. I do know that I won't be climbing on that noisy bike tonight.

I also got pissed off at my sister tonight. She had made dinner and I had promised to go over, so I did. Then she tells me right after dinner I am sorry but I need to go to bed I am in a lot of pain. I said I know how that feels. Then she responded with I don't think you know what kind of pain I am in and there's no way you could have this much. I thought she understood the whole chiari thing and how much pain I could have but she didn't. What really pisses me off is that she is on a ton of pain meds. She has a pain patch, norcos, and muscle relaxers. But no doctor has found anything causing the pain. They have found what is causing my pain but won't give me anything other than ibuprofen and tramadol. Don't get me wrong, I don't want any of those pain meds, but how the hell did she get them to give her all those with no reason for the pain. Sorry for my bitching but just had to get that out there.